Trying to finish a deadline at work during this emotional and magical time of year makes this editor a bit loony or absent minded...
There are times when I wonder if anything makes any sense around me… and then I begin thinking that perhaps I am the one not making sense... and that begins the internal search through past philosophies and theories and I wonder about my own sense of convictions and standards…
Then I ask: am I supposed to rearrange my purpose? Am I too close to the madness? Are the reasons I question my convictions because I see and feel turmoil due to a once smooth ride that became bumpy and uncomfortable?
Yes to all of those questions. And the reasons are simple: life experiences and gained knowledge provide perspectives that add to and/or take away things that made sense previously and with the passage of a day or an event or an experience or a conversation the once firm conviction has evolved into a question…
I wish I had one of those minds that just sloshed around through life with a smile and laughter not giving much thought to the notion that one morning the sun may not show up… or that the decision I made yesterday was the right one and that today I didn’t have any regrets or questions for making a decision at this moment that will affect tomorrow…
How does one’s mind process knowledge and understanding? There are piles of books and research papers and scientific reports that explain this notion all over the place. And then after reading a chapter or two I am more confused than before… and I simply want to say “because that's the way it is”… and carry on with life as if I know exactly what I am doing and what the outcome will be… and that I have complete control.
If only... I had complete control over my random thoughts and heartstrings, then I could finish this deadline and move on to more important things... like baking Christmas cookies...
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